i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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