Jerry, you need to find god
Please, let me fuck your mom
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
