Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
