He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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