it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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