I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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