He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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