bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
