Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
