her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
