if you like me you must not know who I am
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
