So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
