Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
