youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
