I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
