I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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