i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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