sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Alive.
So much puke
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
