yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So gin and wine won't be happening again
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I need to sanitize my soul.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize