I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
