You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
