Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
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