If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
