so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
