Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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