whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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