called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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