And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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