How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
