the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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