is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
