yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
