White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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