I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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