Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
