I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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