Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
