Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
