she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
try to milk me bitch
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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