im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
