just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
