I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
