I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
