I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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