TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just had sex on a roof
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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