Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
