dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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