She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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