real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
