super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
