he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think I sprained my soul last night
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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