The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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