walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
