we have officially lost it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
