They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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